The Structure Offered by Divorce Mediation

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So many issues to consider.

Getting divorced is stressful. There are so many unknowns. Where will I live? Will there be enough money for the things that are important to me? How will my children fare in the divorce process? How will I pay for health insurance? How will we afford to send the children to college? Will I be with  my children on Thanksgiving?

These are just a few of the many varied issues that swirl around in the mind of a person anticipating divorce. The prospect of tackling so many important issues can seem overwhelming. Divorce mediation provides a structure allowing couples to handle all of the issues of their divorce in a methodical, organized manner.

Divorce Mediation provides structure to the divorce process.

The structure of divorce mediation offers the opportunity to slow down and consider each issue thoughtfully. In place of a jumble of fears, divorce mediation creates a systematic plan for reaching rational and reasonable decisions.

Beginning with the first mediation session, the  divorce mediator will offer couples the opportunity to break the divorce process down into small, manageable steps.

  • First, a parenting plan will be created that permits each parent to remain connected to his or her children in a meaningful way. This involves a daily parenting schedule, as well as the sharing of holidays and vacations.
  • Second, assets and debts will be listed and evaluated. The divorce mediator then helps the couple decide how the assets and debts should be shared.
  • Third, the parties consider cash flow. Is there a need for spousal support? What should that look like? How long should it last? What about child support?

Along the way, the many details related to these issues are considered, including, health insurance, life insurance and college expenses.

Structure provides a sense of control.

While there is flexibility as to the order in which issues are discussed, there is an overall structure that is soothing to most couples. They see that the many overwhelming issues that need to be addressed will all be handled in time. The structure offered by divorce mediation allows many divorcing people to reduce the stress of divorce.  Reducing stress is always a good thing.

Mediation to Reduce the Stress of Divorce

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It is common wisdom that divorce is one of the more stressful experiences that a person will endure. Children are not immune to the effects of stress. When children hear their parents fighting, their anxieties will rise. Even without actually hearing parents fight, children often pick up on their parents’ anxieties and begin to worry themselves. Studies have shown that the single most important factor in how well children do when their parents divorce is the level of conflict between the parents.

Recent studies have increasingly shown the physical toll that stress can have on the human body. Stress triggers changes in our bodies and make us more likely to become ill. It can also make problems we already have worse. Stress has been linked to numerous physical ailments including headaches, heart problems, high blood pressure, asthma, eating disorders, and sleep disorders, among others. It only stands to reason that both adults and children are well served by reducing the stress of divorce.

While no divorce will be stress-free, there are steps you can take to reduce the stressfulness of divorce. Avoiding adversarial and confrontational approaches to divorce goes a long way to reducing the stress a divorcing family will experience. When parents can maintain their dignity through the divorce process, their children can continue to feel safe and secure in their parents’ love. Their natural resilience will allow them to adjust to the reality of their parents’ separation if the parents move forward without rancor.

Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are two non-adversarial options for divorcing couples. Couples divorcing through these methods need not get along well or be able to communicate. If a couple wishes to divorce amicably, regardless of their current level of communication, both the Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce methods can create a space where they can settle their differences peacefully.