Beware of the Greek Chorus

It is normal to want support through your divorce. The divorce process can make you feel very much alone. You have been part of a couple and soon you will be single. It is understandable that you seek out friends and family members for support. That is healthy and necessary.

Divorce Advice is Not Support

The problems arise when you discuss the particulars of your divorce with friends and family. Well-meaning friends and family can sabotage your divorce. That is because they may encourage you to seek settlement terms that are not truly in your best interest. Ask your friends and family to listen and to be present. Welcome their support. Skip their advice about your divorce settlement. Your divorce mediator or collaborative divorce attorney should be your primary source of information. You hired them for that purpose.

Do Not Compare your Divorce with Others

Each set of divorce facts is different. The settlement that your friend received may not be appropriate for you. While your circumstances may be superficially similar, below the surface, there may be vast differences that merit a different outcome.

Moreover, in divorce mediation and collaborative divorce, you are not looking for cookie cutter solutions. Both divorce mediation and collaborative divorce focus on crafting an agreement that maximizes the path forward for each of you.

Stick to your Resolve to be Non-Adversarial

Your family and friends are concerned about you. They want the best for you. They may try to convince you that being non-adversarial will backfire. They may truly believe that only an aggressive attorney can get you what you need and deserve. You have done the research and you know that being adversarial will cause you unnecessary stress. It will destroy any chance you may have of a continuing relationship with your spouse. Stick to your guns and stay in mediation or collaborative divorce.